Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest against a fish.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man. He gifted baby Jesus the beard, which Jesus wore until his death. The other three wise men were so jealous they had Chuck written out of the Bible.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

Chuck Norris can run so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris does not breathe. He holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Jenga by pulling the bottom block first.

Chuck Norris can text from a payphone.

Chuck Norris does not call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bike.

Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without pressing any button. The game finishes itself out of respect.

Chuck Norris can fold a fitted sheet perfectly.

Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it.

Chuck Norris can slam dunk a football.

Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa.

Chuck Norris can boil water just by staring at it.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a walkie-talkie cord. A wireless one.

When Chuck Norris sends a message, he does not need a phone. The words find the person themselves.